I turned 36 in December 2023. With the turning of the clock came a whole different era of body issues. I am the quintessential driven ambitious lawyer. I take pride in the fact that I often go days without sleep or am constantly on the go. Until I passed out on the sidewalk as I came out of court. 3 days after turning 36. I knew I was busy and stressed and I’d had dizzy spells off and on the last three months but I thought it was just me being a bit overwhelmed. Until the blood tests came back. I had no But B and D levels to speak of, and insulin resistance and an underactive thyroid. Coupled with off the charts cortisol levels. I cried when I got the results.
2023 was a year that made me push and challenge myself in new ways. I became a magistrate and presided over a court in a town 110km away. I did that drive to and from everyday. It was a contract position I wasn’t going to permanently move there. Add to that it was a tiny provincial town and I did not fit in.
Eventually after 7 months I realised I couldn’t do it. My body was aching all the time and I was tired and listless over weekends. I was also constantly feeling emotionally abused. So I resigned and restarted my private practice. It’s been non stop work. I only now realise what I have done to my body and what I’ve put myself through.
And I keep saying what did I have to prove and to whom? I don’t know. I do know that there will be serious changes in lifestyle and also serious boundaries. In addition to working my behind off and driving 220km a day I was still resolving everyone’s problems and doing everything for everyone. .
2024 will be the year of me. The year I take care of myself. The year I put my health and my body first. The year I let people be their own monkey in their own circus